Terrell and Natasha Vernor have known each other 15 years and married for 14 years.

Who talked to who first? Natasha: My brother introduced us at a music workshop in 2000 here in Wichita. It was a quick hello.

Who said “I love you” first?

Terrell: It wasn’t Natasha, because she was playing hard to get.

Did you go to the same school? Natasha: No, Terrell is from St. Louis, Mo.

Where do you go the most as a couple?

Natasha: We go to Longhorn Steakhouse for mister when he wants his steak and Red Lobster for me when I want some seafood.

Who is more social? Both: We agreed that Natasha is the social butterfly.

Who is the neat-freak?

Natasha: Terrell is the neat-freak.

Who is the most stubborn?

Natasha: According to mister, I am, but I do declare he is!!

Who wakes up earlier?

Natasha: He wakes up earlier on the weekend. During the week, I wake up earlier due to work and children going to school.

Where was your first date?

Natasha: Denny’s. He had on this 2-piece yellow outfit with a straw looking hat from a church member no longer with us.

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Who has the craziest exes?

Both: Don’t really know.

What is your secret to making marriage work?

Natasha: Communication. Learn when to shut up. Some things are not worth saying. You have to learn how to control your tongue. It’s not about you, but it is putting your spouse before yourself. We try to be each other’s cheerleader.

How did you figure out the household chores? Natasha: Basically, we just do it when we get tired of seeing things out of place.

What have you learned to appreciate about your spouse that you did not know when you were first married? Terrell: I did not know Natasha was very meticulous about the bills. She makes sure all of them are paid. I appreciate the fight in her. She doesn’t hold her tongue and will stand up to defend – whether it is for a cause, family or friends. If you really want to see some action, then mess with her children. Natasha: Terrell is very talented. I knew he was a musician and he knew how to draw but I didn’t know he was a computer person. I was not aware of the extent of his computer knowledge. And, I didn’t know Terrell was a licensed minister but it made sense after watching how passionate he is playing in the church. Also, Terrell is not a procrastinator like I am with some things. He will just do it or find a way to get it done. He can be very standoffish but is very good at networking. If that makes sense.

What aspect of marriage were you most pleasantly surprised by? Natasha: After 14 years, it hasn’t been a dull moment. What is pleasantly surprising is getting along with someone who is around you all day, everyday, but not quite like you. I’m not saying you agree all the time so you have to figure out how to come back together and agree to disagree, and move on. We have to continue to work on it daily. Terrell: I agree.

What do you think is the most challenging part of being married? Natasha: The most challenging is bringing two different worlds together. We have two people who were raised differently. My parents are still married but his parents were divorced and remarried. He dealt with blended families as a child. Now, we have a blended family because I had a daughter from a previous relationship. You have to understand the differences and balance it for the sake of your own family. Terrell: The vows we made are important, as God will hold you accountable. Life will deal you a bad hand and you have to remember the vows you made to each other.

What has been the greatest obstacle you have faced over the years? Natasha: The greatest obstacle was dealing with health challenges early on in the marriage. I was in kidney failure after being married only 3 years. I was on dialysis a little over 4 years. Thanks be to God, I got a kidney transplant 5 years ago. Terrell was also dealing with health challenges and we were taking turns in and out of the hospital. With this, it was hard on our finances early on as well. Just recently, we both had COVID. It landed Terrell in the hospital once again. But we still thank God for everything and glad we made it once again.

What’s one thing that your spouse does that makes you feel glad you married years ago?

Natasha: Terrell makes sure I never feel uncomfortable with the many changes to my weight, or body due to the health challenges. He gives me surprise gifts just to say you would look great in this. That is a constant reminder, he was there when it started and still is no matter what. I had a friend in place. Terrell: She is very consistent and stable, she’s never flipped the script on me.

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