Life takes unexpected turns and twists that can lead adult children back home. About 45% of adult children are returning back home and sleeping in their old bedrooms.
A crowded home can create new opportunities and issues that should be addressed before a grown child makes the move back home.
Here are some things you can do to make the moving situation easier for everyone.
SET BOUNDARIES
Maintain a good relationship by sitting down together and discussing boundaries for both the parents and grown kids.
While your son or daughter is no longer a minor, you should still let them know what they can or can’t do in the house.
If you don’t allow smoking, alcohol, or people coming in and out at all hours, let them know the limits.
At the same time, it might be good to know what their habits and expectations are. If they get up early in the morning to go to the gym, you will have to adjust to hearing early risers.
Taking vehicles, food, or toiletries should all be discussed upfront.
Remember to let your children have a say in the conversation. If you want to make the living arrangement work, then the boundaries need to be set together.
MOVE BACK HOME & CONTRIBUTE
Since you’re giving up space and adding cost to your utilities, your grown child should be contributing towards the household bills.
Most of the time, their move home is financially related. So you don’t want to overburden them with tons of bills, paying rent, or making them pay for everything.
If your son or daughter is looking for full-time employment, encourage them to get a part-time position to help pay for their own expenses.
Be wary of putting a lot of chores on them. Your kids should want to help out, but if they are working full-time they may need a few hours to relax before pushing chores.
For those who moved back home to save for their own home, ask them how much their last mortgage or apartment payment cost per month. Charge them a fraction of that per month to offset any expenses.
This lets them save money but continue to contribute and be responsible.
KEEP CALM & CARRY ON
If you’re shocked that your adult child or children want to move home, stay calm. You didn’t fail as a parent, and they certainly haven’t failed as an adult.
All the different reasons that surround moving back with the parents have one thing in common: your kids feel safe with you. Take it as a compliment that your kids want to be around you at a vulnerable moment in their life.
During this time don’t ignore your own life and needs.
SAVE TIME
It’s important not to push your kids quickly out the door after they get settled, but it’s equally vital not to let them become too comfortable.
One of the first conversations you should have is setting up a timetable. When will they move out of the house?
Part of setting the exit date involves establishing obtainable goals for the kids.
WATCH THEIR HEALTH
Be open and ask them to talk through their feelings and thoughts. They may appear to be strong and focused, but feelings of inadequacy and inferiority in comparison to their peers might flood their heads.
Look for signs of depression. If they exhibit the symptoms, talk to them about possibly getting therapy.
Go on walks and ask them to join you. You’ll both get exercise and a chance to talk about the wins and losses of the day or week.
Keep healthy food around the house such as fruit and vegetables to ensure that everyone is getting good nutrition.
Open the curtains and shades in the house and let natural light into the house. People’s moods can be improved with natural vitamin D.
ROLL OUT THE WELCOME MAT
Before you roll out the welcome mat, make sure you take these steps to heart and talk to your children in-depth about their move back home.