Life can be stressful. Most of us are constantly on the go, thinking about chores, school, work assignments and everything in between. But there’s a good chance that relaxation isn’t penciled in on your planner.
“What I hear from people the most is that it’s hard to turn off their minds. They’re constantly going, which prevents them from relaxing,” says psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD. “But we need to think of relaxing not as a stopping point, but as a necessary pause.”
She adds that relaxation has long been treated as a luxury — not a necessity. “Not many people will say, ‘Let’s schedule some relaxation time into the day.’ And most of us were never taught the skill of relaxing as kids.”
Even if you know relaxation is beneficial, too much time on life’s hamster wheel may have you wondering where to start. But taking the time to build a relaxation toolkit for yourself is so important.
Dr. Albers shares her blueprint for mastering the art of relaxation. In this article, we’ll concentrate on two of her breathing relaxation techniques.
Control Your Breathing
First, take note of your breathing. If you’re stressed, chances are you’re either breathing too quickly or not taking enough deep breaths. Controlling your breath out is a great way to calm down your nervous system and lower your heart rate. “It moves your body into relaxation mode,” explains Dr. Albers.
1. SQUEEGEE BREATH
Close your eyes.
Imagine a window squeegee at the top of your head.
As you breathe out, imagine the squeegee pushing toxic thoughts and energy down to your toes and out of your body, like dirty water at the bottom of a window.
Then, breathe in deeply and imagine positive thoughts coming in like fresh, clean water.
Continue to breathe in and out.
Listening to music that features a wind instrument, such as a flute or trumpet, can also be calming. They can help improve breathing patterns because you have to control your breathing while making notes.
2. FIVE-FINGER BREATHING
Five-finger breathing is a deep relaxation and breathing that can help you do just that.
Pain specialist and behavioral medicine psychologist Judith Scheman, PhD, explains what this is, how to do it and how it can help you relax, unwind and even manage pain.
What is Five-Finger Breathing?
Five-finger breathing is a simple but powerful breathing technique that induces deep relaxation — and you can do just about anywhere (though, not while driving or operating other heavy machinery, please).
Unlike other types of breathwork, five-finger breathing is a multisensory experience where you concentrate on more than just your breath. You also focus on the movement and sensation of one hand touching another, slowly and with intentionality.
This helps your brain enter a state of deep relaxation, which causes it to release endorphins. “Endorphins are the body’s natural painkillers,” Dr. Scheman explains. “They’re chemically identical to opioids, but they don’t cause constipation, or sometimes itching, nausea or vomiting, and they don’t disrupt your sleep or your immune system.”
In other words, you can think of endorphins as your body’s safe, all-natural drug — and deep relaxation is the factory where that drug is made.
Benefits of Five-Finger Breathing
Breathwork techniques trigger your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your brain responsible for resting, relaxing and resetting. When you’re tense, overwhelmed or amped up, these techniques help move you out of fight-or-flight mode and into a calmer state of being.
And although anyone can benefit from five-finger breathing, it’s especially beneficial to people who are headed into surgery or who are recovering from a recent procedure.
How to do five-finger breathing
If you’re new to this practice, you may wish to begin by using guided audio or video. Once you’ve gotten the hang of it, you can do it on your own any time you need to relax.
Dr. Scheman walks us through the steps of five-finger breathing.
1. Ready Your Hands
Five-finger breathing requires the use of two hands. One hand will be your base (this hand won’t move) and the other will be used to trace your fingers (this one will move). It doesn’t matter which is which, but you may find it easiest to use your dominant hand — the one you write with — for tracing.
To start, hold your base hand in front of you with your fingers spread comfortably apart.
2. Start Tracing Your Thumb
Place the index finger of your tracing hand at the bottom of the thumb of your base hand — right where your thumb meets your wrist — and begin slowly moving your index finger up to the tip of your thumb.
“As you move your finger up your thumb, take a slow breath in, perhaps allowing your eyes to close,” Dr. Scheman instructs.
When you reach the top of your thumb, do the opposite: Slowly drag your index finger down the other side of your thumb while exhaling.
3. Keep Going, Focusing on Your Breath
When you’re done tracing your thumb, move on to tracing your index finger in the same way — then your middle finger, ring finger and pinky finger.
As you trace each one, continue to breathe deeply and slowly. “Let yourself relax as you breathe gently,” Dr. Scheman encourages. “Become more and more deeply relaxed each time you exhale.”
4. Change Direction
When you’ve traced your whole hand and reached the bottom of your pinky finger, reverse directions and go back the way you came, moving toward your thumb.
Continue to take slow breaths in and out, focusing on your breath and on the sensation of your index finger tracing your skin. “Let go a little bit more with every exhale,” she says.
Allow yourself to relax as much as you possibly can, with your breath as your guide.
5. Let Yourself Relax
Continue the practice as long as you need. “When you’re ready, you may open your eyes, bringing with you any relaxation that you’ve found,” Dr. Scheman says.
Try not to rush into whatever you do next (unless it involves falling asleep). Give yourself the time to revel in your relaxation and let it wash over you.