Christopher Sr. is an engineer at UltraSource and Carthesa is a financial specialist at Synchrony Financial and is studying psychology. The two first started dating as teenagers, when they met at Raytown High School 26 years ago. They’ve been married for 23 years and have renewed their vows twice, once for their 10-year anniversary and last year for their 22-year anniversary. The two say they are still madly in love.
“We are beating the odds,” Carthesa said. “We are each other’s first loves. There are differences, but it’s nothing we can’t conquer. We love to love each other and that’s the basis of our life. Unconditional love.”
Where did you have your first date?
A high school dance at Raytown High School.
What aspect of marriage were you most pleasantly surprised by?
We were surprised by the strength we had to keep our marriage together and strong when our oldest son was killed in a road rage incident in 2017. I never loved someone as hard as I loved my husband in those hard moments, seeing his strength to protect our family gave me a strength inside of me that I thought I never could possess.
To support each other through those difficult times, we immediately got into counseling and we learned ways to find out what the other was feeling when one of us is not doing so well. We just try to pick up the slack on loving each other harder and just supporting and being there for each other.
Who has the craziest exes?
We haven’t dated anyone else other than each other, so neither one of us have any exes.
Who’s the neat freak?
Christopher is the neat freak, everything in his closet is color coordinated and organized.
Traditions you’ve started together?
We always eat at the dinner table together as a family and take our two sons on spring and summer vacations. We’ve gone to destinations like Miami and Puerto Rico. Those trips are very important to us as a family. We want our sons to see the world.
Another tradition we have is working on breaking generational curses together so that our boys can know how to give and truly understand unconditional love. Having three Black sons growing up in this society, in general, men are taught to be hard and not to cry or show emotions. As a married couple, we model for our children that showing your emotions is okay and doesn’t make you weak.
What is one thing you would change about your significant other?
Nothing, he is perfectly imperfect and that is perfect for me.