If pandemic life seems to be driving down your sex life, you’re not alone. The truth is, the stressors and demands of pandemic life may have taken up all of your “bandwidth,” leaving little if any for sex.
“Coronavirus, worrying about our safety, security and that of our loved ones has undoubtedly brought an increase in stress and changes in mood for so many people. Stress can affect your sex drive for many reasons including the fact that when we’re stressed our bodies produce cortisol which lowers our libido,” says dating and relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan, “We need our libido to feel and be in the mood to arouse our desires.”
You may not have automatically linked the pandemic to why you’re struggling to be intimate with a partner but Ammanda Major, relationship counsellor and sex therapist at Relate Counselling says, “we’re living through COVID-19 and like any other situation, if you’re very worried about something it’s likely you’ll seek a different kind of support from your partner that may not necessarily be sexual.”
How To Boost Your Sex Drive Despite COVID-19 Stress
If you’re feeling low or bad about yourself because of COVID-19, then your worries are perfectly valid and being able to communicate them to your partner could be a good way to regain intimacy. It’d be nice if your partner had the power of telepathy, but it’s more than likely that they don’t know everything you’re feeling.
“We tend to think our partners should just know we don’t feel good because we’ve been quiet, but sometimes you have to try and explain how you’re feeling and help them understand,” says Major. “All you have to say is you’re worried about job security or your health and it’s difficult to focus on sex.”
Open communication is a surefire way to help improve things in the bedroom. However, actually getting to the point where you can speak to your partner about the stresses that are stopping you feeling sexy can be a bit of a journey. Ryan suggests you identify exactly what’s worrying you so you can articulate it clearly to your partner. Try to make sure your partner doesn’t feel personally sexually rejected. Explain that you’ve got a lot on your mind and need emotional support. Learn to communicate the good, the bad, and the ugly because the only way you can feel fully supported is by letting someone else in.