If you’re worried about an adolescent and aren’t sure what to do, here is some advice from Fadi Haddad, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and the author of Helping Kids in Crisis.
Talk about the real stuff
Sometimes conversations between parents and teens can be all about achievements, schedules and chores. Go beyond that. Find out what keeps them up at night, and ask, “What’s the best part of your day?” Become attuned to their emotional world so that you understand what their dreams are, what they struggle with and how their life is going.
Give them space, but pay attention
Give teens space to grow and separate from you, but also watch for changes in behavior. Are they giving up activities they used to enjoy? Are they staying up all night or eating differently? Is your outgoing kid now withdrawn? If you’re worried, say so. Show interest in their internal life without judgment.
Resist getting angry
When parents learn a teen has been hiding something or is having behavior issues, the response is often anger or punishment. Instead, see what’s going on. If a kid is acting out or doing things like self-harming, skipping school, respond with compassion first. Say, “It seems like you’re having trouble, I’m here to help. Tell me what’s happening with you.”
Don’t put off getting help
If you’re worried about an adolescent, talk to a school counselor, therapist or doctor. It’s better to get help early, rather than when trouble has firmly taken hold.
Treat the whole family
When a kid is in crisis, you have to change the family dynamic. It’s possible that something about the home environment was causing the child stress, so be open to acknowledging that and getting family counseling if needed.
